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21 Ways To Stay Alive In Year 2179 (Life In The Future Is Hard)

We took a look at these pieces, wanting to know if they were right. But damn, they were optimistic... and oh so, so wrong...

August 16, 2179   New-Den    It may already be the future, for those looking from the past, but we can still ask what the future will be like considering how things are today. Look, look, look, we get it. Every generation has some of these fun thoughts:

“It’s the end of the world!”

“What if tech takes all of our jobs?”

Heck, in the early 2000’s, we’re talking 2010-2030, these were some of the titles they were printing:

This IS What Life Could Look Like 100 Years From Now

What will America Look Like In 2060?”

(What the heck is a Kim and Kanye, anyway?)

We took a look at these pieces, wanting to know if they were right. But damn, they were optimistic… and oh so, so wrong (at least with most things).

Why are they so wrong? Well, inexperience. The humans of 2019 and before were just getting used to technology advancing so quickly, and yet at a sluggish pace. We’ll give them a few props though. They did start marrying later, having fewer children, traveling more, listening to Millenials… but they were living in HOMES with LAND, and hardly noticed that the populations were shifting into the cities and out of the suburbs and country lands.

They didn’t know that 20 years in the future they’d be in another World War.

We can’t blame them. They couldn’t predict this. But we are living it, and our expectations of the future are a lot lower than theirs.

Growing up in the Swell* teaches you a few things, but there’s always more to learn. We’ve asked elders from across the Swell how to stay alive in the year 2179 and beyond. Here’s what they’ve said:

  1. Take nothing from no one, not even the gifts.
  2. Know your exits.
  3. If you don’t have the money, don’t seek a Bottom Feeder. They’re called that for a reason.
  4. There are no more passports. No more travel. Give up the expectation of leaving and change what’s around you. It’s safer when you stop dreaming.
  5. Build something with your hands. It will provide an income when you lose your job.
  6. Stay out of the alleys at night.
  7. Don’t trust the Trols.
  8. Don’t trust the locals, either.
  9. Keep the lights on, always.
  10. Don’t wear clothes that show what you look like underneath all those clothes.
  11. Don’t eat on Renegade Row on Wednesdays.
  12. The elevator doors malfunction every other Thursday, clear them quickly.
  13. Stay away from the chemical rooms on sub-level 6.
  14. Never buy cabbage from Talula’s after 6pm.
  15. Keep your radios hidden.
  16. If you drink a Hog, rinse your mouth out after.
  17. Never miss your vaccines.
  18. If your tissues turn blue, go straight to the hospital.
  19. Everyone’s a friend. Everyone’s a stranger.
  20. If you’re going to steal, don’t do it in the Outline or Downtown. (If you do, see The Outsiders, we pay in facial reconstruction. Hey, it’s better than exile)
  21. Listen to The Outsiders News.

 

And if these aren’t enough to keep you alive, then consider yourself lucky. The future is ugly.

-The Outsiders

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